The Holidays Are Quiet This Year, And So Is My Heart

Real Talk Vol. 12

This will be my first year not visiting my family for the holidays.

It wasn’t a big dramatic exit, it was a quiet decision I made for my peace.

I cut off contact with my dad in spring 2023,

after he pulled a stunt on my little sister’s birthday that crossed the line for the last time.

I distanced myself from my mom earlier this year,

before my wedding,

when she refused to respect my boundaries.

My older sister stopped speaking to the family around late 2020 or early 2021.

And my younger sister and I stopped talking

after I removed her from my phone plan at the end of 2024.

None of this was part of some master plan.

Life just…unfolded this way.

I used to dream about having a close-knit family.

Group chats that weren’t filled with tension.

Strong sisterly bonds that lasted a lifetime.

But it never happened the way I hoped it would.

There were moments I questioned everything,

what I did wrong,

what I could’ve done differently.

But I don’t do that anymore.

I went to therapy.

Faced my childhood.

Sat with my anxiety.

Healed my inner wounds.

And now I’ve made peace with the distance.

This year, I’ll celebrate the holidays on my own terms.

I’ll set the vibe.

Cook what I want.

Wear what I want.

And let joy in, without anyone’s drama attached to it.

Because family doesn’t have to be present to be honored.

Sometimes love lives in what you choose to carry forward,

and what you finally choose to leave behind.

–C