They Call It Bougie, I Call It Standards

Real Talk Vol. 10

People assume a lot of things about me.

Spoiled.

Stuck up.

Bougie.

High maintenance.

Mean.

Even a little intimidating.

I’ve heard it all.

Spoiled?

Maybe in college, when I was still figuring life out.

But since graduating, I pay for my own everything.

Bills. Clothes. Trips. Groceries. Vet appointments.

Stuck up?

I’m just an introvert who enjoys her peace.

There’s a difference between being distant and being protective of your energy.

Bougie?

I just like nice things that last.

Good quality.

Good ambiance.

Good company.

High maintenance?

Absolutely.

But I maintain myself.

There’s a difference.

And mean?

No. Just observant.

I watch more than I speak, and I feel more than I show.

Because the truth is, people are layered.

I’m layered.

I can be quiet and kind.

Soft and strategic.

Grounded and ambitious.

I’m analytical.

I’m sensitive.

I have big dreams and high standards for myself.

And sometimes that combination gets mislabeled as something it’s not.

People will always have something to say about women who know what they want and refuse to settle.

Confidence looks like arrogance to the insecure.

Standards look like attitude to the unprepared.

And depth?

Depth scares people who haven’t met their own yet.

I used to take those comments personally.

Now I take them as confirmation that I’m doing something right.

So no, I’m not spoiled.

I’m self-sufficient.

Not stuck up.

Just selective.

Not bougie.

Just aware of what feels aligned.

Not mean.

Just misunderstood.

Because I’m layered.

We all are.

And the more you know yourself, the less you need others to explain you.

So let them talk.

Let them label.

You just keep living.

Keep choosing yourself.

Keep owning your standards out loud.

Being misunderstood is temporary.

But being sure of yourself?

That’s forever.

–C