My Bladder Has Beef With Me

Real Talk Vol. 16

You know what no one talks about enough?

The struggle of having a bladder the size of a pea.

Seriously, does anyone else feel personally attacked by their own body every time they take a road trip?

I’ll pee right before we leave, swear on my iced tea that I’m good to go…

and then seventeen minutes into the drive?

Boom.

Sudden.

Urgent.

Life-or-death-level need to find a bathroom.

This bladder?

She does not play fair.

Once I go once, it’s over.

My body thinks we’re on some “pee every hour” schedule.

(And don’t even bring up traffic, that’s when my anxiety and my bladder tag-team like they’ve been training for it.)

It’s not my fault.

I did not ask for a rebellious organ.

I keep napkins or toilet paper in my bag like a suburban survivalist.

I know where every rest stop is.

I fully accept that “quick pit stop” is part of my itinerary.

And don’t get me started on flights versus driving.

I’ll always choose the sky.

Always.

But some friends are “road trip vibes,” and compromise is real.

Let’s just say: communication is key, and so is knowing where every exit is.

So if you’re reading this and you, too, were blessed and cursed with a hyperactive bladder,

let me free you today:

You are not dramatic.

You are not overreacting.

You are not alone.

You are simply a highly hydrated, road-trip-challenged goddess

trying to live her life.

And honestly?

At least we’ll never be the friend who “forgets to pee.”

We’re peeing before, during, and after every event.

A lifestyle.

A calling.

A community.

Stay strong, my tiny-bladdered queens.

And may your next road trip include frequent stops, zero judgment,

and elite-level snacks.

–C