I Think I’m… an iPad Kid

Real Talk Vol. 4

I think I might be… an iPad kid.

Or at least, the grown-up version of one.

I’ve had a screen in front of my face for as long as I can remember.

First it was Neopets and DisneyChannel.com.

Then came Myspace, iPod games, YouTube deep dives, iMessage, and now endless scrolling on TikTok, Twitter, Pinterest, Amazon.

It never stops.

And lately, I’ve realized something:

I struggle in real-life social settings.

I’m not antisocial.

But I am phone comfortable and people anxious.

I pull out my phone without thinking.

I overanalyze conversations before they even start.

I hide behind a screen when the moment feels too quiet, too hard, or too real.

It’s not that I don’t want to connect, it’s that I forgot how.

The worst part? I wasn’t always like this.

I used to be more open. More curious. More there.

But COVID changed things.

Remote work shrunk my world.

Friendships slowly faded into the group chat abyss.

And somewhere between FaceTime calls and fading connections, I got comfortable being distant.

Screen by screen, I shifted.

Quietly. Slowly.

Until “just checking my phone” became a shield.

But I miss connection.

The real kind.

I miss laughing until I can’t breathe.

I miss eye contact that doesn’t feel weird.

I miss being fully present, not filtered, not rehearsed, just…me.

I want her back.

The version of me who could exist in a moment without needing to document it.

Who didn’t check her phone before walking into a room.

Who let conversation unfold instead of pre-writing it in her head.

So I’m starting small.

I’m putting the phone away when I’m with people.

I’m challenging myself to be bored without reaching for a screen.

I’m making space for presence even if it feels awkward at first.

Because I don’t want to scroll through life and call it living.

I want to feel it. Be in it. Return to it.

If you’re feeling the same just know you’re not alone.

I’m right here with you.

Learning how to be here again, one scroll-less moment at a time.

–C