The Monthly Audacity

Real Talk Vol. 58

Aunt Flo, we need to have a conversation.

Because personally, I have a few complaints.

First of all, why am I being physically punished every month for not being pregnant?

The cramps.

The bloating.

The hormones.

The random cravings.

And the attitude I didn’t even ask for.

One minute I’m perfectly fine. The next, somebody is breathing a little too loudly and suddenly I’m irritated.

And the worst part?

Life doesn’t stop.

I’m still expected to work, answer emails, run errands, make dinner, and somehow maintain a pleasant attitude.

Excuse me?

I think we deserve paid menstrual leave.

Nothing outrageous.

Just a few days wrapped in a warm blanket, heating pad nearby, a bowl of ice cream or chocolate, and absolutely nobody bothering us.

Maybe a good movie.

Maybe a nap.

Definitely no unnecessary questions.

Because sometimes I don’t even know why I’m emotional.

Am I sad?

Am I hungry?

Am I irritated?

Yes.

And let’s discuss the bloating.

Because how did my jeans fit perfectly fine three days ago, and now we’re having disagreements?

The audacity.

I love being a woman. Truly.

But I would also love to unsubscribe from this particular monthly experience.

Unfortunately, Aunt Flo doesn’t believe in cancellations.

She just shows up every month, uninvited, with the same dramatic entrance.

No flowers.

No apology.

Not even a courtesy text.

So until further notice, I’ll be accepting chocolate, comfortable clothes, and a little extra patience.

And Aunt Flo?

You’ve overstayed your welcome.

See you next month, I guess.

–C