Selfish Isn’t Always Wrong

Real Talk Vol. 47

I’ve noticed something about the word selfish.

People use it for a lot of things.

Saying no.

Protecting your time.

Prioritizing yourself.

Choosing what works best for you.

Not answering every call.

Not attending every event.

Not putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own.

Somehow, those things can earn you the label.

Selfish.

And for a long time, I think a lot of us try to avoid it.

Especially women.

We want to be helpful.

Available.

Accommodating.

Supportive.

We make sure everyone else is okay.

Everyone else is comfortable.

Everyone else is considered.

But eventually, a question shows up.

What about you?

Have you checked in with yourself lately?

Have you made time for yourself?

Have you poured into your own life the way you pour into everyone else’s?

Because if the answer is always “later,”

later has a way of never arriving.

I’ve learned that some of the best decisions I’ve made looked selfish from the outside.

Setting boundaries.

Changing directions.

Choosing rest.

Investing in myself.

Walking away from things that no longer fit.

Not everyone understood those choices.

And that’s okay.

Because I’ve realized something.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish.

Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish.

Building a life that makes you happy isn’t selfish.

It’s necessary.

You only get one life.

One body.

One mind.

One chance to experience the things that matter to you.

So if there’s something you’ve been putting off because you’re worried about disappointing someone else…

Maybe it’s time to reconsider.

Maybe it’s time to book the trip.

Take the class.

Make the move.

Buy the ticket.

Start over.

Try again.

Not because everyone will understand.

But because you’re the one who has to live your life.

And sometimes the people calling it selfish are simply uncomfortable that you stopped putting yourself last.

Maybe that’s not selfish.

Maybe it’s overdue.

–C