It Wasn’t the Plan

Real Talk Vol. 51

Estrangement wasn’t something I planned.

It wasn’t a goal.

It wasn’t something I woke up one day hoping would happen.

It came after enough moments that changed the way I saw certain relationships.

Enough disappointment.

Enough disrespect.

Enough realizing that love and access aren’t always the same thing.

I used to think distance meant failure.

That if people were family, you were supposed to keep trying.

Keep forgiving.

Keep hoping things would be different.

But sometimes, they aren’t.

Sometimes you’ve had every conversation.

Given every chance.

Extended more grace than you realized you had.

And one day, you quietly accept that protecting your peace isn’t the same as giving up.

It’s choosing a different path.

For me, estrangement created something I wasn’t expecting.

Space.

Space to think.

Space to heal.

Space to learn who I was without constantly carrying the weight of those relationships.

That doesn’t mean it was easy.

There are still moments of sadness.

There are still questions.

There are still memories.

But alongside those things, I found something else.

Peace.

Not because everything was fixed.

But because I stopped trying to force what wasn’t changing.

I don’t believe estrangement is the answer for every situation.

Every relationship is different.

Every story is different.

But I do believe there are times when distance becomes the healthiest decision you can make.

Not out of anger.

Not out of revenge.

Out of love for yourself.

Healing doesn’t always happen by holding on.

Sometimes it begins when you finally let go.

–C